Wednesday, March 1, 2017

More Helpful Hints, for a Happy Wife,Happy Life!

Yes gents, I do know it has been awhile since my last post giving you those hints to have a happy wife,happy life. Sorry, but my last venture kept me in the intensive care unit longer than usual...

Okay, the wife has just made a wonderful casserole, lots of gooey stuff, like cheese. She has decided the dishes can wait till the next day. The next day rolls around, and she has decided she needs a brazilian wax job. She politely ... asks you to wash the dishes from the night before. Don't panic! Wait till she leaves, box those dishes up, take them to your workshop, and break out the handy dandy sand blaster. Those dishes will be cleaner than they have ever been. 
Just a little note here, if a sand blaster isn't available, a hand grinder works, as will a belt sander!


The wife arrives home, and while getting the nether regions assaulted by an amazon named Myrtle, your wife has decided new paint is in order for the living room. She was even thoughtful enough to bring it home with her. Some ungodly color that even she can't pronounce, so calls it "just wonderful".
No problem guys. Hand her 100 bucks, tell her to go buy something nice for herself, you'll take care of it. After she is gone, pull out every piece of furniture from the wall about 1 foot. Just enough so you can roll paint just below the top of said furniture. Do the whole room, put the furniture back. She won't know till Christmas rolls around, when you have to rearrange the furniture to put up the tree. 

Don't panic, this is when you fake a severe back injury. Hell, you may even get a little sympathy out of her. She'll obviously feel sorry for you, and says, "honey, we'll make do". The waiting till she says that may cause an increase in blood pressure, hopefully not enough to give you a stroke. 

Okay, my next tip, nevermind, shes back from shopping... oh shit, she brought paint..........