Friday, June 2, 2017

Rants From the Depths of My Mind...

Have you ever said anything outloud, and after doing so, you wish you could have went back in time long enough to tell yourself to shut the fuck up? Well, if you haven't you are a much better person than I! Although I do manage some self control, but DAYUM it's difficult at times. 
Take for instance, me riding on the bus. These are some of the things I want to say, but often find myself either cursing, laughing, or biting my tongue. One of the few times I seem to actually control my tongue, but then I hear fighting on the bus gets your ass kicked off, and I'm not a big fan of walking those long distances anymore! So, Take a look inside my head...


   Getty images *


Jeez guy, that's pretty, pink, green, blue and purple hair. What the fuck happened, couldn't decide on a color? How's that working out for those job interviews? What, No interviews? STOP sending  your pics of that peacock hair with your resume, asshole!


Now ain't he cute? *
one, two, three, fifty.... lady, anyone as big as you, should not be wearing yoga pants that tight, that I can count the hairs on your... well you know what I mean. Camel toe, dayum, have to invent a whole new word for whatever that is your sporting in them pants. 


Now that's just "effing" scary! *
Okay, so tell me, is that seat more comfortable than the one you just left? The one that is just behind this one? I had no idea the Transit company installed more comfortable seats in unknown places. Oh, and your getting out at the next stop, which should be in about... 40 seconds from now. Not to mention that the old man there had to move so you could squeeze your ass by. 

Lady, they have fold up seats right in the front so you can place your little rugrat in their stroller out of the aisle. Now I don't mind having to squeeze past, although if I had my say about these things, there'd be a tow rope on the outside of the bus at the back, and all you stroller mamas would be holding on to that, same goes for all those people in the wheelchairs. 

Google Images *

Sir, you, the guy that still has the Elvis haircut and sideburns... If you took a shower with water, you would save a lot of money. Instead of bathing in aftershave, try some soap and water. It'll be cheaper for you, and healthier for us, cause then we just may be able to  take a breath, without having the wind taken right out of us. Yea, and that lady up there, is she your girlfriend, or wife? She's just as friggin bad, what's that perfume called? "Ode to Skunk?"

Jeez, you stink, take a bath! *
Well folks, there you have a look at the inside of my head, and that was only on a 20 minute bus ride... have you any idea how much crap there is in my head? It scares the crap out of me!



* all images from Google Images....

2 comments:

  1. Ahahahaha, I have those same voices inside my head. Luckily for me, I keep them muzzled or I would be is SO much trouble !! Actually when I was in DC we rode the subway a lot and I kept muttering stuff under my breath about peacock hair people etc, My daughter kept saying shhhh, shhhh. I tried to tell her it was so loud in there no one could hear me anyway, but she was not buying that so I kept it inside my head. Another great blog Skipper ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lia! You know, sometimes it ain't easy being me! :)

      Delete